Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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