So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think your dad took our porno
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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