I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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