Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize