Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
