Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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