Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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