Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize