I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
