So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
