Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
