If i come over, it means nothing
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Say something about gay babies.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
