If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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