I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
