If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
