Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
