Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
should my penis look like a turkey
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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