We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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