She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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