it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
