so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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