Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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