the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
