Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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