She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
