I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
