We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
