Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
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