I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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