please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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