He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
