Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm always down for nudity.
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