Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize