Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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