He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In other news, I just burned my penis
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize