You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
