I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I forget how to act sober
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
