One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i came on her dog
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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