There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
