There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
