How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
