two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
