the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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