Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
