Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
