how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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