I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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