Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
