lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
