It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
