the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
there is puke in my bra ... again
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