Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You may now shotgun with the bride
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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