no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
