alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
