He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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