he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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