turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
