Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize