sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
