that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize