Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize