just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He felt like a one man threesome
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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