and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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