So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
