And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
