nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
