i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
