New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
